Crabby Crab
Crabby Crabs were enemies that débuted in the original Crash Bandicoot-style game. Thanks in part to President Jerome Papupapupopoulos's many tax cuts for the rich, their extravagant wealth has entitled them to easily afford luxurious residences in luxurious beachfront homes. Nonetheless, as their names imply, they still maintain a sour and generally bitchy attitude toward the rest of society. According to some fans, they are based on some sort of real-world decapod crustaceans of the infraorder Brachyura, generally covered with a thick exoskeleton and armed with a pair of pincers, though this controversial ruling is currently being challenged in the Missouri Supreme Court. Appearances You're the First Enemy in Crashie, the Most Important Person in History! (1996) In Completely Unoriginal Crash Bandicoot-Style Game, Crabby Crabs were the very first enemies Completely Unoriginal Crash Bandicoot-Style Character encountered on his questies for breasties, appearing only in the first half of N. Sanity Beach. At the behest of Prezzy P. Papu, they tried their very hardest to stop notorious enemy-of-the-state Crashie the Talibandicoot on the outskirts of Tribesanistan, before he could enter the heart of the nation proper. Unfortunately for the Crabby Crabs, their battle strategy of scuttling back and forth in a straight line, furiously snapping their short, stubby claw arms in a blind rage, was not an impressive success. Since they never deviated from this simple pattern, Crashie had no problem dispatching them with either a jump or his patented Hairy-Go-Round. After the first stage, the Crabby Crabs would concede their physical weakness - for the rest of the game, their angry right-wing support of Jerry's fiscally responsible schemes was limited to behind-the-scenes illegal campaign contributions. A Cameo for Anyone Nostalgic for Last Year (1997) Crabby Crabs continued to lend their financial support to the Commander in Chub throughout Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Joins the Writers Guild of America, though since he didn't actually play any active role in the game's plotline, this was pretty much wholly irrelevant! Their only real role in this game was in a delightful cameo during the sub-100% completion ending: as Less Chesty Tawna Replacement sits on the beach, wondering what became of Dr. Neo Cortex and Nurse Neo Cortex Vortex, a Crabby Crab scuttles by. The Crabby Crabby Crabsters does not provide her with an answer, probably as revenge for Crash's brutal slaughter of his people one year prior. Alternately, it does not provide her with an answer because crabs generally lack the ability to talk. Alternately, it does not provide her with an answer because it doesn't want to lose $200 for an incorrect response and incur the wrath of Nitralex Trebrio. Crabby Crab's Political Influence Comes to an End-fluence (1999) Coincidentally, in the very same year that Crash Supports the Middle Eastern Oil Industry rolled around, Papu Papu was also up for re-election. His political opponents in the Non-Conservative Party were trying hard to discredit the otherwise very popular incumbent. As such, as a security measure, he cut ties with any of his illegal schemes whose inherent fun value was not enjoyable enough to outweigh the looming possibility of being voted out of office. So, his many professional mistresses and the pharmaceutical lobbyists could stay, but his boring old generic illegal campaign contributors had to go. Stripped of their political influence, the Crabby Crabs had only their fabulous wealth to comfort them. Perhaps due to sheer embarassment over this fact, the Crabby Crabs didn't even bother to show up in this game, despite the presence of Dr. N. Sanity Beach in this game. In fact, they would never show their face to Crashie Bandoodles ever again! Trivia *Some fansites erroneously refer to this enemy as "Crab E. Crab", falsely implying some sort of connection between the enemy and Afro-American actor-comedian Doug E. Doug, of Cool Runnings and Cosby fame. This is extremely unlikely, however, since Naughty Dog are notorious for their refusal to give things names that are references to famous pop culture things! *Coincidentally, Clancy Brown would go on to voice famous fictional crab Mr. Krabs on the popular telenovela SpongeBob SquarePants a mere three years after the Crabby Crab made its first appearance. This trivia item would be considerably more interesting if Clancy Brown had actually voiced the Crabby Crab enemy - or, for that matter, if Clancy Brown had any sort of role in the first Crashie game at all! *According to some fans, Naughty Dog only included Crabby Crabs to poke fun at the many famous crab enemies present throughout rival Nintendo's famous Mario series, including Sidesteppers from Mario Bros., Clawglip from the one true version of Super Mario Bros. 2, and the crab-sheep hybrid Clawdaddy from Super Mario Bros. 4: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island 1. These fans postulate that by making crab enemies, the notorious staple of the Mario games, extremely weak in Crashie's Island PS, Naughty Dog was attempting to mock the Big Ennie as revenge for not being allowed to develop this game for the Nintendo Entertainment System 64. Clearly their professional scheme worked - out of embarassment, Nintendo would not include a polygonal crab-based enemy in one of their games until Super Mario Galaxy, 12 years later. See Also, IF YOU DARE *Dr. Herman N. DeHermitz - Crash Bandicoot and Earth, Wind & Fire, and Also, Water and Mr. Dr. Cortex Goes Back to School